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10th Oct, 2017
Well. After 18 months on the waiting list, I had an appointment with a therapist at the Exeter gender clinic.
As far as I can tell, it went well. I have been forwarded to the next stage and am now on the waiting list to see a doctor.
I will be hopefully be seen September/October next year.
The therapist told me that the current waiting list for first time appointments has around 900 patients O.o
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18th Feb, 2017
Ooh, thank you for the Valentine cards, they have made me feel so much better :-) Wish I could figure out who sent them >.<
In a bit of a low spot; still waiting for news of my appointment; having money troubles and some erm domestic things going on.
Miles Jupp was great, btw. Very witty, very funny. Had me in stitches :-) Had no problems there at all :-) A nice gentleman gave me a big smile as held the door for me. Was very nice indeed ;-)
Hope y'all are doing good out there :-)
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15th January, 2017
Wow..been a few months. Sorry for the big gap >.<
The family party went really well; not a single negative comment or look or vibe. Everyone just acted normal and nice....it was great :-) I was very relieved when my nephews were all "Yeah, well we guessed. Just had to look at your hair and nails...lol" in a good way :-)
We had the in-laws over to meet the real me on my birthday, and that went really well too :-) They were surprised at how "normal" I am; I think they might have expected a burlesque show or something..lol.
I'm in the middle of getting ready to go out. We're off to the theatre to watch Miles Jupp (I bought wifey tickets as part of her birthday present). She insisted that we start 2017 as we mean to go on; so getting dollied up. She bought me a new dress, matching shoes and some "unmentionables" to wear ;-)
I'll let y'all know how it went :-)
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20th August, 2016
Ooh, arranging a "coming out party" with my family, so exciting :-)
Having trouble choosing an outfit hehe
Also, my first proper solo daytime outing this Thursday, so fingers crossed >.<
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4th August, 2016
Well been a bit up and down lately. Wifey had another cancer scare (skin this time), but she's been given the all clear; the Exeter G.I.C says their number of referrals has doubled, so I'm probably not going to get an appointment till early next year :-(
On the plus side, I've been going out and about a lot more. I go out solo at least once a week and with wifey at least once also. Not to anywhere super amazing, just normal things (like grocery shopping, or a walk in the park etc).
I've been facing a lot of demons with my therapist (going through my childhood abuse and things), but we are making progress. Had a very tough session the other day; had to go sit in the park for a while on the way home. I watched the water ripple and listened to the sounds of summer; was very relaxing. I will try and make that a regular thing on the way back I think.
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29th February, 2016
Saw my GP today. She was amazingly positive and will be referring me to Exeter as soon as she can arrange it :-)
According to their website, the Exeter G.I.C has a wait time of around 10 months, so might not be until at least January next year till I see someone though :-(
In other news, I'm considering a perm so I can have wavy (not curly!) hair all the time. 45 years of "boring" straight hair is enough for me ;-)
Feeling really good right now....some time next week I'll probably have a panic attack or something..hehehe
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18th February 2016
It went well with the counsellor, and we have both said we can work together, so I have "professional support".
I made a GP appointment to talk about my issues, and start the referral process.
11 days time >.<
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3rd February 2016
Spoke to my close family about what's going on, and have heard nothing but supportive and hopeful comments.
There are other people that are totally "anti", but nothing unexpected, and nobody that affects me directly.
Spoke at length with my niece (she is getting married later in the year); she insists that I must come, and that anyone that doesn't like it can "bugger off and be a d**k somewhere else".
I know I'm very very lucky to have such supportive people in my life. My wife and daughter are with me to the end, and they are the people that will make the biggest difference.
Oh noes, I have to go shopping for a nice outfit for the wedding..hehe.
Also, I've managed to lose over a stone in weight now, and still going down ;-)
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2nd February 2016
I have been allocated a counsellor that specialises in gender issues, and have my first session in just over a week.
Have to make a GP appointment to get a referral to either Charing Cross or Exeter.
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25th January 2016
I have an appointment with a "Gender Adviser" next Wednesday.
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5th November, 2015
Went to Bournemouth to look for a new handbag (something a bit bigger, in black with silver colour furniture and a decent length shoulder strap).
Didn't have any luck with that, but did find a nice pair of gloves (grey wool with white fluffy trim), so not a total loss.
Shame the weather was so poop, my hair was ruined >.<
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27th October, 2015
Had the most amusing back-handed complement ever yesterday.
We popped out to Tesco to get some shopping; when we were queuing at the till I heard some guy mutter "Bloody lesbians".
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15th October, 2015
Woo, my birthday. 45...not quite middle aged.
The hairdresser was around at 11, and gave me some lovely curls. First proper hair-do ever :D
Slipped into the knee boots my wife bought me, and off we went to Dorchester for an afternoon of shopping.
Best
Birthday
Ever
(that I've had)
I found the perfect outfit for the wife for a wedding next year...cost a whole 2 pounds (for a purple silk style dress and matching bolero jacket!). Got myself a couple of scarves; one is purple with silver threading, the other is black/white/lavender stripe kind of thing.
Unfortunately, the 50's dress shop (something Jive) has shut down, so I couldn't fulfill my birthday wish of trying one on :-(
We had a coffee and some cake, then headed home via the beach for a "we ordered far too much" take-away.
Thank you all for the best wishes :-)
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14th September, 2015
Just had a telephone evaluation with the local mental health team. It went well I think. The young lady I spoke to is looking in to what Trans specific services and support there is available, and has promised to be back in touch before the end of the week.
Since my last post, there has been so much going on....I don't want to go into too much detail. My wife has had (successful) treatment for breast cancer, and I was rushed off to hospital for a suspected MI. Other medical stuff.
***
There's definitely something to be said for curling up in some comfy leggings and a chunky cardigan in front of an open fire with a nice glass of wine.
***
OMG.
Just spent an hour on the phone with my 33 year old niece. She wanted to talk to Auntie Jenny...I didn't know she knew!
Don't tell anyone, but she was always my favourite anyway ;-)
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4 December, 2014
Well....we have moved.
We are now getting settled in to our new home in Upton (which is near Poole in Dorset).
I've changed my locale setting to match ;-)
It's a lovely little Victorian semi-detached with a small garden. Bonus item: open fire :-)
The garden is quite enclosed and private; it's lovely to stand out there with a nice breeze up my skirt hehe
Got our Christmas decorations up (it was easier to put them up early than put them away for a week or so) and some extra fairy lights ;-)
Also ordered a new velvet dress (long sleeves, maxi style) in "red wine" colour. Hoping it will arrive in time for New Year ;-)
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5 October, 2014
We had an awesome week on the IOW :-)
I got a makeover (my first ever!) at Purple Dreams with the wonderful Vanda. She is lovely, and really put me at ease. Her shop is great; fab decor and beautiful things to buy :-)
I was really nervous as it's the first time I've been out for years, plus my daughter and her fiancee were there to meet Jenny. Thanks to Vanda, I don't think it could have gone better. Her enthusiasm and understanding made all the worries disappear (and the wine helped a little bit I think).
I bought myself a lovely new red dress, and my wife picked out a nice sparkly jumper and a very hot silver dress for herself ;-).
So many lovely things, so many fabulous shoes >.<
My daughter phoned me about a week later (after we had come home) and asked me if I would go to her wedding (in January) as my real self instead of John (as she put it). She is also booking a photographer so we can get some pictures of the happy couple in their wedding finery with me in something lovely instead of a suit (again, her words!).
I have decided against going to the actual wedding in all my glory. I want that day to be remembered for them. It's their special day, and I don't want to do anything that might take away from it.
She is however very keen (very!) for me to go to their wedding celebrations (that are in the summer) in something "more suitable". I've agreed to try. I've also reserved the right to change my mind :P
***
15 September, 2014
Well...
We have found a new home :-) We will be relocating to Dorset in the next couple of months. A nice little house with a little bit of garden. It's a lot more expensive than our little flat, but it will be worth it to be away from our neighbours.
Also we are off to the Isle of Wight next week to meet up with my daughter. I've booked a make over so I'll hopefully be looking good when she sees me.
Will post pics if I look good enough >.<
Fingers crossed.
***
Wow....just wow.
I've been chatting to my long estranged daughter.
She is so cool.
She has taken Jenny in her stride, and fully supports me.
Faith in humanity, restored :-)
***
Ick, I hate doing this...lol
I'm about 5'10, and I guess you could say cuddly (hehe, size 18-20), and also cuddly by nature.
I have longish red/brown hair, and hazel eyes.
Updates are newest at the top, so it's reverse chronological order from the top.
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15/10/09
Happy birthday to me :-)
Another year gone by....ick, it goes so fast.
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25/4/09
We got married a month ago :-)
It was a wonderful day, and the weather held (it was a little windy later on though).
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16/10/08
Well...
I thought PP was a tops venue :D Great mix of music, good atmosphere, friendly people and even a decent place to have a ciggie (hehe!).
Yesterday was my birthday, and on top of quite a mix of prezzies (her parents bought me an RC Chinook, she bought me some nice jewellry and things..lol) my other half has got me an engagement ring :D
It's white gold with diamonds.
We are hoping to get married early next year; nothing big and fancy just yet. We will be having a blessing to "celebrate" properly when we can afford it :D
We are off to stay with her parents for a few days, I'm hoping things go well. >.<
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7/10/08
Only a couple more days till BNO. I'm feeling nervous and excited. I checked the train route and I have to do some messing about with the tube when I get to Waterloo. Interestingly, the train I need to catch *leaves* at the exact time I arrive. I wonder if the ticket includes some sort of space-time shifting to allow me to catch it.
Despite the prices, I doubt it.
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25/09/08
Oh oh! How exciting...I just booked my hotel for the Ocotober BNO! Never been before, so both excited and nervous >.<
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22/09/08
My other-half took me to Southsea (that's near Portsmouth on the south coast) on Saturday evening. We spent a chilly time looking at the stars and boats/ships and listening to the surf.
I wasn't read once, and had no problems at all with my rather loathsome neighbours, so overall a big thumbs up I think :D
We had a drive around when it got too chilly and talked about how much things have changed since I went there when I was little (when I was a child, "the seaside" meant Hayling Island or Southsea..lol).
I'm really hoping to get to Pink Punters sometime soon; that'll be at least an overnight stay (hopefully at the hotel opposite! lol).
***
Well, time for update I think.
Things tiddle along and time passes. I'm looking for a new place to live as my tenancy is about to run out. Also, trying to sort out a new appointment with Claybrook.
This year has been very hard, but it's swings and roundabouts as always I guess.
***
Oh gosh, we've got back together :D
Just couldn't stay away from eachother, and well....we just admitted how we really felt. I'm wondering how her family will react to me the next time I see them, as they know the whole story now.
***
Oh how brave, I've uploaded a few new pics. Please don't be too harsh :-/
***
Bit of an update here.
After lots of sleepless nights, tears and soul searching, I've realised that I have to take steps towards "sorting things out".
I had an appointment at Charing X a long while ago, but I wasn't able to get to it on time (the person that took me got lost, and we were an hour late). They were ok with that, in so much as they offered me another appointment, but I never made one.
I felt it was as though "it wasn't meant to be".
My dad had a stroke, which left him unable to move or communicate, which was another reason I felt I couldn't do anything. I couldn't present him with my feelings and need to change when he would be unable to respond.
He passed away in April 2007. I never had the chance to tell him or explain anything. I both bitterly resent and am a little relieved by that. I desperately wanted to say something but I was so afraid I would be a disappointment to him. I didn't want him to think he had "failed" in some way, that there was anything he had done wrong.
I also met the most wonderful woman I could have. We had a real whirlwind of a relationship, loving, nurturing, passionate, everything. It made me more determined to suppress things.
I never had to hide the existence of my fem self, in fact my partner loved that side of me as much as anything.
Then, one day, she turned the key that had kept things locked away.
It was an inadvertent result of the most wonderful thing I've ever felt.
It was quite clear that something had changed, pretty much from the moment it happened.
I tried very hard to ignore it, and to carry on as normal, but it was impossible.
She has a few problems of her own (that are not related to me in any way), and things became very strained, and hurtful for both of us.
We have now broken up, on good terms, and we are friends.
I told my eldest brother what had happened, and how I felt (and have felt pretty much my whole life) and how I need to do something about it. I was very nervous, but also hopeful.
On saturday 22nd September 2007, he and his wife came to visit me for the first time (that is, the real me that I've been hiding away).
There was no tension or visible reaction at all. His wife commented several times on how good I looked and there was a small moment when she commented on my shoes (she has an identical pair..lol), but it went tremendously well. So well, it was total non-event!
They have both said that whatever happens, I will not lose their friendship, love and support.
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