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Pre-op Transsexual
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General / Everyday wear
Just a quick point about me, for the record.. I like MEN, but and this is a big BUT I'm not interested in phone sex random fun or hearing how horny you are, I don't want to see your web-cam. This is not a fetish thing for me and if you send me a rude message I will ignore you. If you have some thing to say and see transwomen as humans please do get in touch...
I only meet guys in public on a 1st meet...
•:*¨¨*:•.13-12-14 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well 2014 has been quite a year and I can't believe it's 2 years since I've updated my profile... But hey I've been busy, I was featured among the 22 trans men and women in the book Brighton Trans*Formed, personal stories and experiences of trans people living and working in Brghton. As part of the project I got involved in and urban art project about trans visibility for Brighton Trans Pride - that involved photos of trans people around the city and projected onto the front of a church in the heart of the city and badges with our photos on... I have a badge of me ffs!
Along with all this since I last posted on here I have slowly taken a more and more senior role in my job - being client facing to big blue chip clients!, I am senior Art Director at the company I work for! I know this all sounds like boasting and I guess it is? But I think it's important for people to realise that trans women can have all the success they want. Being trans doesn't mean we have to live in poverty!
Though I still haven't found a man for my life and to all those men out there who fail to show up or disappear when it comes to an actual date, why do you bother?
Oh and after 3.5 years on hrt i actually look female when naked and I got my approval for surgery finally which should fix that last bit! Oestrogen rocks!
•:*¨¨*:•.9-9-12 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Wow it's been an age since I've posted on here, been a tough year since I last posted!
I'm now 15 months into hormones and it shows! I'm loving the results! I feel happy with who I am now, still have a way to go.. But it's great to be me finally!
•:*¨¨*:•.31-12-11 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well it's about 7 months on hormones now.. The changes are really dramatic, I have curves and a proper bosom now. Find I am passing far better now. which is great. I also feel so much more at home in my body for the 1st time since puberty..
•:*¨¨*:•.14-07-11 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
7 weeks on hormones and I went to work today with out any padding for the first time, I'm now feeling more feminine than ever before. I'm very excited by how my body is changing now before my eyes. I now have the beginning of a female waist and hips. a long with a very small bossom 38AA.. but with a bra supporting it I have a bust! I can now see that in a years time there will be no doubt to my apparent gender. :)
•:*¨¨*:•.29-05-11 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
In the late 1960's a little girl was born, her parents lived in a brave new world, were they were fighting against the preconceptions and rules that their parents lived with in. This ethos they passed on to their daughter and her brother.
The thing is even though her parents were very open minded for the time, the world she was born into was one with very strict expectations of what it meant to be a girl, or a boy and growing up in the 70's she learn't to hate being a girl. The reason for this was, even though she knew who she was the world saw her as a he. She knew boys were not aloud to be girls and the world would never accept her as a girl. It seem very clear to her that, to have friends and to be accepted she could never be a girl. So he learn't to hid that side of him, push it down where no one would see it not even himself. So he put up a wall, a wall of masculinity he'd never really understood. That he'd spent years crafting so no one would see past it, terrified that someone might.
The problem was this never really went away, no matter how hard she built the him, she would never feel able to build a proper friendship or relationship always scared of someone seeing through her.
For a time he built a successful manhood, a good degree and lovely wife and son with a great creative job. But the battle with in him was poison, he could never be happy till he set her free. He'd always known that one day she'd let herself out, always known that the truth would have to come out and it would probably be pretty messy.
S0 after nearly 40 years he stopped and looked herself in the eye and said that's it, I can't fight her any more, she couldn't do this any more. If she wanted a good relationship and I wanted to succeed as a rounded person this had to stop. So she stepped back from the lies shaved off her beard and went to see a doctor, came out to her friends and family and finally started to live her life to the full.
People now tell her how much she smiles now and how much they like her, not that they disliked the him, but she is less angry and fierce. She doesn't walk down the street scowling at the world. Being fierce when shouldn't with her beautiful son, Being able to show her son the love he needs, because finally she loves who she is.
She now loves her life for once and realises she can never go back to the him. How ever much being her is complex and has cost her the love of some people she cared for. The him is gone and because he was never a real person, she doesn't morn his passing even if her family do.
She really loves being herself now and should probably got to sleep now!
•:*¨¨*:•.25-05-11 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well the big one, tomorrow I start my 2nd puberty! This time in the right direction and my body will do what I wanted it to do at the 1st one. Sorry the point is Charing Cross have really given me the go ahead for hormones this time and I start tomorrow, the 26th of May 2011! Here goes the rest of my life..
•:*¨¨*:•.26-02-11 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well I've taken a big big step, I've changed my name by deed poll finally! So I am now officially Miss Cass Katherine Hoskins! This is something I'd been meaning to do for a very long time and I can't believe it's taken me so long to be honest. But I've always said I will take this at my own pace and not rush into anything!
Now that I'm working and living as a woman and am officially Miss Hoskins (if not female quite yet?) I can't quite believe I've come so far, some thing that seemed an impossible dream for me just 2 years ago is now my every day life! Walking home from work yesterday having been in a skirt all day. it really struck me how "normal" it'd had become, how back when I'd started being in a skirt for even a small part of the day was a big deal for me!
I just hope all this progress will satisfy the doctors at Charing Cross and they will start to prescribe the hormones I so want!
•:*¨¨*:•.24-09-10 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
It's such a long time since I've updated blog on here, since I last updated I've not had the hormones I thought the clinic had given the go ahead to... But in the mean time I've been busy moving things along anyway. Started going to work as a woman and found it surprisingly easy making this big leap into womanhood. I think I've finally stopped feeling like a fraud in frock and I'm now used to being female, if that makes sense..?
•:*¨¨*:•.12-04-10 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well I've had my 2nd appointment at CHX and now have the letter confirming the go ahead for hormones! I'm now out to all my friends, family and clients. Everyone is has been amazing about it! No funny reactions at all. Finally it feels like my new life is starting and it's not a new life, just my same life with a better view point. What can I say apart from it's Fantastic? Going out with my friends in straight bars and clubs these days has been so affirming.. Just over 2 years ago when I started out down this path with tentative steps I'd never have believed I'd have gotten to this point. I was so scared and self concious I wouldn't walk to my car as a woman..
To any girls out there just starting out down this path, be brave and go for it. You will never regret it!
•:*¨¨*:•.25-08-09 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well I've had my first appointment at the Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic, to give it it's full name. There is so much to say about this and I'm not quite sure where to start. I've also started telling my family my big dark secret and now I've been approved for speech therapy on the NHS!
Well the CHX appointment went well, the Dr was a bit intimidating at first but once I convinced him I wasn't crazy seemed to warm to me, was actually a very charming a funny guy. There is a lot for me to digest and do before my next appointment as I need to go full time and change my name. I've 8 months to do this in though!
The one oddity was he asked me if I was "fixated by Thomas the Tank Engine as a child" if anyone knows what that's about please mail me as I'm stumped!
Telling my Brother and Sister was much easier than I'd expected but still left me an emotional wreck. The good news is they both took it really well and my sister is now calling me Sis and can't wait to take me shopping.
The speech therapy, well there isn't much to say about that really. Well not until it starts. It's just another step to making it all a lot more real!
Shame the doubts still wont go!
•:*¨¨*:•.05-05-09 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well Started coming out to more and more of my friends, and having such a great response from the people I've told so far that I'm starting to feel very confident that I will be able to transition with out having to find a whole new group of friends. I guess my biggest fear has been, ending up terribly lonely. Cutting all my friendships off by doing this.
An amazing part is that my relationships with a lot of people have been transformed by the revelation. Even if a few female friends have said that they miss the male me. That I've become so much closer to the people I've told and they've all said how much more at ease I seem as woman.
It's nice not to feel like I'm skulking around behind closed doors any more and I've started to join the separate halves of my life together. I can now see the end goal becoming a reality, not for some time. But the pieces are falling into place bit by bit, which is so exciting and beautiful that I've been smiling all the time.
As my mum recently said, I seem to be blossoming!
•:*¨¨*:•.04-03-09 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
I've just been wig shopping in London with a gg friend. She lives in North London quite near Finsbury Park and had been telling me about a street of wig shops up there.
Anyway the point is I've never seen so many fab cheap wigs in my life. I ended up buying 2 brill wigs for £40! One was only a tenner!
So if any of you live in London or are up there for a day I recommend popping down to Stroud Green Road and picking up a few fab new wigs!
Wow it's been a year since I found this site.. So much has happened in that time, who know's where I'll be this time next year! Credit crunch allowing.. :(
•:*¨¨*:•.15-01-09 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well I've finally had my appointment with the local psychiatric team, and have my referral to the Charing Cross gender clinic! I didn't expect to get it or really know if I would be classed as TS.. So I guess I can call myself TS..
The whole thing was great, it was really good talking every thing through with a dispassionate professional. It funnily enough left me feeling more sane.. I recommend it to anyone out their questioning if they're TS or not!
So next step up?
Watch this space!
•:*¨¨*:•.31-12-08 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Well what a year 2008 has been.. from having a beard, body hair and a paunch, I've let my masculine life fall back. Lost the beard, body hair and about a stone in weight! gaining a good wig and a nice pair of breasts from ebay!
But going out as a girl for the first time has to be the stand out moment of the year even if I probably looked terrible and was scared to death. It was such a revelation! The world didn't explode and no one screamed in horror as I walked down the street. Since then I've been out so many times there is not much point in writing them all up any more. The thing I will always remember is the first time I heard my own heels click clacking down the street!
I've also made some fantastic friends, Tasha, Sophie, Jay and Zo to name but a few of them. Other friendships have been transformed by the new me! The female friends, I've come out to have been incredibly supportive and kept me sane through all the craziness. That they now see me as a woman is such an incredible compliment, I couldn't have hoped for a better reaction if I'd tried!
Anyway all those people who have touched my life over the last year here is a great big THANK YOU!! Thank you to the guys who've shown me what fun a girl can have with a nice boy in her bed! I'd never thought I'd be writing this last year let alone having done it! And thank you to all the fun and funny boys and girls I've met in the chat rooms.. For making me laugh and listening to my random waffle...
I'm not sure who's going to read this But Happy New Year who ever you are :)
xxxx
•:*¨¨*:•.28-09-08 Update••:*¨¨*:•
I've made the big step of going out shopping in day light finally on Oxford street in London and tried living for 3 days with out being a guy once! Lots of fun and adventures! Just need to perfect the day time make up now!
Got chatted up a few times! :D
.•:*¨¨*:•.31-05-08 Update•:*¨¨*:•.
Since the last update I've been out and about quite a few times now and I'm starting to feel much more confident. Still think I look a fright but also realise this is in my head as much as anything. Going out as a girl is something I've wanted to do since I was about 5 or 6 and now doing it I feel so liberated I can't say!
..•:*¨¨*:•.21-4-08•:*¨¨*:•.
Well since I joined TVchix, I've got a better wig now and made my first tentative steps out of my front door in heels.. I went to Totton disco on the 17th of April with the help of my friend Georgia. Met loads of great girls and had a fab time. I just need to plan my next step.
•:*¨¨*:•..•:*¨¨*:•.
Crossdresser who's just starting to come out looking for friendship and wig tips.. I've long been dressing or wanting to but just really started to get my clothing together. I'm also pretty poor at writing these things...
I'm 6ft tall with green eyes and brown hair.
I can look fairly femme up to my neck, so I need to get my make up skills up to speed.. Oh and a decent wig.
I'm a freelance designer and artist living on the south coast. I want to start exploring my crossdressing with in my art and photography. Though I'm not totally sure how yet.
I would love to talk to other t-girls about who we are and ideas about exploring this visually (not pornographically)..
Interests:
Shopping, Sex, Email chat, Admirers / men, Convincing, Daytimes, Evenings, Weekends, Can Accommodate, Can Travel, Trendy/Modern club wear, Pubs, Nightclubs, No TGirls Please!, Relationship (casual), Relationship (serious), Females, Single/Unattached, Friendship, Photography, Art Exhibitions, Movies / Cinema, Good Food / Wine, Comedy Clubs / Festivals, TV/TG Activism & Awareness, Professional Photography, Web Design, Casual Tops, Can Accommodate (Overnight)
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