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Trans woman
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General / Everyday wear
How are you doing today? cool.... here is a little about me!
In 2016 I came to the realisation life had to change. I legally changed my name and title by Deed Poll. I was referred by my GP, regarding Gender Dysphoria, to the Daventry Gender Clinic. I attended my first appointment in September 2018. My final assessment appointment with Dr.Timmins was in February 2019 where I was prescribed a course of HRT (Prostap Injection & estradiol Gel).
I've been extremely lucky with the acceptance, love, and support from everyone around me, I can't thank you all enough XX
I have Orange hair which covers the ever-emerging grey as life goes on, blue eyes, big nose (dammit), height 5' 10" and weigh 10 n arf stone (OFFICIAL)
Clothing size varies from a 10 to a 12 to a 14 depending on the brand & what Iโm buying. Size 8 shoes n boots.
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26/05/2022
Thank you for the birthday messages, I hope you are all keeping safe in these troubling times for our community โ๐ป๐๐
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24/11/2021
Hello, one and all. Another first in my 40s of having a complete colour change of hair. (See profile pic) Tomorrow I'm booked in for more ink & have more ideas for the future.
I've had another appointment with the GIC, via telephone, to discuss my progress & whether I've thought more about any surgeries. Advised that my estrogen level should now be below 500 (previously 820) so my bloods are looking good IMO (e @ 296 \ T @ 0.3)
It hasn't been all plain sailing. July was a tough month for my mental health with a lot of misgendering from people close to me.
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15/06/2021
At the ripe age of 47 I decided it was time to get my first tattoo. Many years ago the lyrics of a tune by Tiesto stayed with me & I've found myself returning to the lyrics in moments of uncertainty. A butterfly in the colours of the Transgender Flag above the words 'Just Be' will be with me to the end โ๐ป๐๐
Just Be - Tiรซsto
I was lost
And I'm still lost
But I feel so much better
You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person, you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
If you're searching for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can't see
Just be
Just be
/They say learning to love yourself/
Is the first step
That you take what you want to be real
But flying on planes to exotic locations
Won't teach you how you really feel
Face up to the fact
That you are who you are
And nothing can change that belief
Just be
Just be
Cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
The hardest part
It's inside me
I need
To just be
To just be
Just be
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19/02/21
โTWO YEARS!โ where has that time gone?
A few weeks ago, I admitted I was struggling with my mental health during this lockdown period. When my energy is low my mind goes to places where I criticise the tiniest areas of myself, my life & my surroundings. Comparing myself to others in every aspect of life, I was asking myself โAm I feminine enough?โ yet again. I may still be waiting to see in the mirror the external changes to match what I see in my heart.
However, today I smile, today I am filled with pride, joy, happiness, love & serenity. For today is my 2-year anniversary of beginning HRT treatment. I will continue to learn about myself, my body & my mind. I will endeavour to be a good & positive human in this world with gratitude in my heart for those around me for creating an environment in which I can grow.
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24/11/20
Hello, I hope you & your loved ones are healthy in body & mind in these unusual times?
After a disappointing result of low estrogen, I was able to talk with Dr.Timmins & advised me to increase my gel application to three times daily. Since then I've just been living life, as much as we can at the moment, & working hard.
I had another GP appointment yesterday where blood was taken & I'll wait anxiously for the results. Whilst there I was weighed as I wanted to confirm what my own scales were telling me, I can confirm I'm down to 67kg (10st 7lb) which is pretty much where I want to be after being over 76kg last year.
I met with a friend last week for a nice country walk & she was amazed to see how happy & positive I am now. My nurse yesterday also mentioned how much I had changed for the positive in the time that we had been seeing each other. I still get asked if I will change my mind if this is the path I want to live, I can honestly say.....I AM NEVER GOING BACK, THIS IS IT TILL THE DAY I DIE!
โ๐ป๐๐
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01/06/2020
No matter how positive I am with my mental state I still have lapse days.
Yesterday was a good start, during the day however I found myself slipping into the old habit of comparing myself to others.๐
Whilst I know these moments are now fleeting, I accept that these days will always come & how they make me feel, the positive is to continue to learn from these moments. Obviously, there is still an exceedingly long journey, a lot of learning & growth ahead. โ๏ธ
There is a lot of negativity regarding the Trans community, I did learn that a colleague corrected someone on my Pro-nouns. Frustrating to hear but also amazing to know that people I have known for only two months have my back ๐๐ปโค๏ธ
โ๐ป๐๐
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26/05/20
Strange feeling today, I am still positive ๐๐ป๐๐ป๐ช๐ปbut itโs influenced with a tinge of discontent ๐
After my conversation with my doctor at the GIC a couple of weeks ago I was advised to have another blood test due to the very high oestradiol level (1790pmol/L) ๐ฎ
Today I received the results of that test (118pm/L) & quite frankly itโs a kick in the ๐ฆท ๐ฆท๐ฆท๐ฆท ๐ I knew there would be peaks & troughs in the process so today is a trough ๐
โ๐ป๐๐
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19/05/20
As we observe Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 & as someone who has, & continues, to be affected by Mental Health I can't begin to tell you how much the positive reaction to myself is helping me grow physically, mentally & spiritually. I would like to thank all those who left Birthday wishes on my page ๐ & all the other positive comments as well, Thank you ๐ Thank you ๐ Thank you ๐
My appointment for Daventry GIC on the 6th of May was conducted by phone with Dr.Timmins. There one or two issues that are not serious & have been addressed. According to Dr.Timmins, I am at the stage of development of that of a twelve-year-old girl. So for my next birthday, I won't be 47 I will be 13 ๐ ๐
Stay safe, be kind to each other & yourself โ๐ป๐๐
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21/04/20
Another Prostap jab & blood extracted.
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02/04/20
Quick update, started a new job, in a supermarket of all places, in these crazy times. So far everyone, co-workers & customers, have been super lovely & accepting. I do have an appointment booked at the beginning of May at the Daventry GIC, not sure if this will go ahead at the moment.
Stay safe & be kind to each other xXPeAcEXx
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19/02/2020
Externally there have been small changes but internally is where the real transformation is happening. Yes, I have the odd blip, but don't we all? 3 years into living my true self & exactly one year since I applied my first application of HRT I can honestly say this IS who I am โ๐ป๐๐
Be good to YOURSELF & Be kind โ๐ป๐๐
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29/08/2019
I had another trip to the GIC Danetre Hospital, Daventry this morning. Although it's a trip I've made a few times now my anxiety level was teetering on max. All in all, it was a good trip, quite happy with my progress although advised to increase my Oestrogen dose to get my levels up ๐๐ปโ๐ป๐๐
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12/8/19
Last week anxiety & dysphoria were really kicking my butt, I think I left my flat twice. I try to stay positive so here goes. A week away from being 6 months on HRT, had my second 3-month injection today & quite surprised that I can almost, just almost fill an A cup. There you go, the world is looking rosy TTFN x
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18/6/19
Collected my blood test results yesterday. A little bit of research I've done they seem an okay progression for four months HRT.
Testosterone 0.4 nmol/L (was 0.6 pmol/L on last test 8/4)
oestradiol level 241 pmol/L
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20/5/19
Monday morning wake up, make a cuppa. Pick up the phone, check messages, notice a message from GP ๐ค on 20th May at 9:40. I'm sure it was the 21st? Check diary, yep Tuesday 21st! 8:45 maybe ring GP to make sure. "Hello, Miss.Lawrence, yes TODAY, 9:40" SHIIIIT!! ๐ xx
Anyhoo, the upshot of my chaotic start this morning is that I have had my first 3-month Prostap injection ๐โ๏ธโค๏ธ๐
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10/5/19
My Mum made me cry on my Birthday (look at the pictures below to see if you can work out why?)
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23/4/19
Feelings: Happy yet sad, positive yet negative, lost yet found ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Sheesh, where did that three months ago? Had my third injection on Tuesday ๐
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25/3/2019
Stabbed in the thigh by a nurse with a needle (2nd Injection)
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20/2/2019
And so it begins. Collected OEstrodose Gel from Pharmacy yesterday and have Prostap injection scheduled for Monday. Feeling ready!
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8/2/2019
Friday 8th February, GIC appointment attended, medical given. Prescription on the way ๐My cheeks ache for smiling so much๐ If you had told me 3 years ago Iโd be in this situation Iโd of called you BONKERS! ๐๐โ๐ป๐๐
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21/1/2019
Appointment letter received to see Dr.Timmins 8th Feb'19
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02/11/2018
Little update. Another trip to Daventry this time for an appointment with the Clinical Psychologist. Another appointment arranged later this month to see the GIC nurse. After waiting 2 years for the initial appointment, things are really moving at a pace.
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27/09/2018
My first Assessment appointment went well. In there for about an hour and unloaded a lot of pent-up emotions. Now waiting for the second appointment to come through.
Onwards and upwards.
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21/08/2018
Finally, have an appointment for First Assessment.
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02/07/2018
I attended the Welcome Workshop at Danetre Hospital today in Daventry. Accompanied by my wonderful sister Kerry ๐. Lots of info to take onboard but it's a nice little boost after waiting so long. ๐
Also a step forward on the angst of driving further than work ๐
Inform phone/broadband supplier, change of name/title - tick
pop into Boots for a colour match - tick, lovely staff ty Steph :)
email sent to GIC with the change of name/title - tick>>>>> reply "Kay we have changed your details however still waiting on the agreement from GP"
Hold on! it was sent last week??????
Call into GP (Wednesday) inform change of name/title, btw the GIC hasn't received the agreement "it was sent last week".....' would you mind sending it again please?'...."sure no problem!" 'Thank you, have a good evening'
Get home from work (tonight) oooooh letter from NHS. blah blah blah...we have now received the agreement.....blah blah blah.....the named patient has been added to our waiting list.
Monday of this week I received a letter from Daventry GIC requesting GP signature for Shared Care Agreement. I took this to my GP who had already received their copy and awaiting GP signature, GP wasn't in until Tuesday. Been a busy week so haven't chased this up, will do it first thing Monday.
Today I have the official Deed of title and name change. I can happily now 'officially' call myself Kay :) Time to write some letters/emails.
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Sunday 26th June 2016
Pre-Christmas 12 stone. Last week 10st 6lbs :)
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Wednesday 15th June 2016
A GP appointment is DONE!
Good chat, Handed over referral forms, pester next week with phone calls to make sure it's being dealt with!
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Wednesday 25th May 2016
This year I have been feeling rather lost in myself. I have become more anxious, depressed, and frustrated. Yeah the usual with me I know, that's why I don't post much. I'm fed up with the same story all the time, so I'm sure you guys would be.
Yesterday I posted on my Facebook account a picture (mirror picture, khaki top, black skinny jeans) with the following message....
"Life has dealt me with the issue of gender. I have been hiding for a long time. From secondary school to this day, to most. Mum and Kez have been wonderful, I love you both more than I can ever say. Where I go from here scares me immensely and my anxiety won't help but I have to do something! "
I don't have many friends, however, I have been overwhelmed by their supportive positive messages.
At the weekend I was close to purchasing some Finasteride. After reading a lot of online articles and not being medically educated I refrained from doing so. Today I have made an appointment with my GP, 15th June is the earliest. Where this will lead me I'm still not sure and I am wholeheartedly trying not to make this another false dawn. I have in my head where I want to get to, whether the authorities agree we shall see.
Thank you for your friendship, albeit online. It is cherished very much
Lots of Love
Kay xx
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31/1/2016
Strange feeling at work yesterday. While writing I noticed my hands. Thought they were female
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21/3/14
Over 2 years since writing WHOAH!
I'm alive but not living still frustrated with myself.
Queen got it to a T
"But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free, baby
Oh how I want to be free,
Oh, how I want to break free."
Interests:
No Male Admirers Please!, I am a non-smoker, Single/Unattached
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