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Crossdresser
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General / Everyday wear
"Can you tell me where my country lies?"
said the unifaun to his true love's eyes.
"It lies with me!" cried the Queen of Maybe
- for her merchandise, he traded in his prize.
And if you recognise the above, well done.
I have been trans all my conscious life (which has been long). Certainly I knew I was distinct since the age of four or so. Had I by some miracle known then what I know now, I might have played things differently.
But on balance, probably not. This is even though sometimes, I need to dress so much, that it hurts. However in the context of my life in the round I think occasional (or more) dressing and embracing the feeling it produces, is a very good compromise.
I am compelled to say that I am not a trans activist. In dressing, I do not want to detract from women's rights. I am unsure how demanding respect from society with menaces helps our cause. I can remember a time when life was calmer; we went about our affairs and people left us alone. I do find less tolerance than once was the case which I think, is a pity. Nevertheless, peace and love.
I can trace my active if not consummated, trans career to about 2000 though it got into the swing in circa 2005. My first steps were confined to dressing at home and then later, visits to one Ella in Grays, Essex.
Ella offered dressing services but the harsh reality was a long way from that. Ella occupied a tawdry flat at the top of an accommodation block in brutalist Grenfell style. Ella was not convincing and I suspect is now long dead. She was a heavy smoker with incipient emphysema even then. Nevertheless she offered a safe space. Here I witnessed my first tranny porn on Ella's antediluvian Grundig CRT TV and sclerotic VHS player. The images were supremely low resolution but nevertheless a revelation to me
I also witnessed my first tranny sex which was between Ella and a virile male lover. At the time I was too repressed for words and did not join in. Much to my regret.
By 2005 I had discovered that the Philbeach Hotel, Earls Court was a thing. Courtesy of Ella, I had grown in confidence. TransThursdays chez Philly, were to behold. I patronised many times. By and by, I duly popped my trans cherry in room six of the Philly. This dear reader, was another revelation. At that point, I went from being a cross dresser to a full on bisexual transgender persona. I simply loved the affirmation of femininity that being seduced by a man brought. At that point, I became quite active, shall we say. Indeed I was almost out of control since I came to believe I was ready for gender reassignment. Almost, but not quite.
I would like to report that since then, I have now assumed jurisdiction over my urges, but that would be an exaggeration. I can, if pushed, exercise restraint, but eventually my will-power collapses. Reprising my tendencies after an interlude of months is metaphorically and physically orgasmic. Being a TV has dominated my thoughts for many, many years.
A word about the Philbeach Hotel should you be unaware. The Philbeach closed in February 2008. To my knowledge though sold, the site remains undeveloped and the building silent. Given the fun we could have all had in the intervening period, this looks like a wasted opportunity. The Philbeach was, almost uniquely, a gay hotel. Others must have existed, or still exist but if so, I do not know of them. The hotel hosted weekly trans events. Many, including me, stayed overnight and happily, on expenses. This afforded a delicious chance to immerse oneself in one's feminine persona overnight. It was possible to dine while en femme in the excellent Philly Thai restaurant. And thereafter embark on some heel dangling in Jimmies' bar so as to entice. And entice, one did.
For, at the Philly were men well versed in the ways of the tranny scene. Expert lovers. My first encounter with one Peter, was a five star memorable event. This occurred after perhaps three Philly evenings, when I became more and more accustomed to the inescapable reality. This being that, when dressed, I am attracted to men. I find this an extraordinarily erotic thrill and quite off limits.
And though I am now less light headed, because of Peter, I have never been the same again. He was extremely gentle with me. He also introduced me to poppers which produced an off the scale sexual experience. It is the metric by which I judge all my subsequent encounters. Many of these come close. About five have exceeded it (one, spectacularly so). Irrespective, it has been enormous fun trying.
I have since those early days, been to many clubs including the late Lacy Ladies and other forgotten venues. I have also experienced a myriad of hotel trysts. I now venture out en femme freely. And despite the allegations of the trans lobby, I do not experience abuse. The Supreme Court ruling on gender is unhelpful, certainly. But if there are no other WCs available, the ladies bathroom, it is. I exercise extreme care so as not to offend, when doing so. So far, so good.
I am married and my dear wife knows. My wider family and friends do not. After some health scares, Amanda is no longer promiscuous. The resistance of certain STIs to antibiotics is unquestionably a concern. I console myself that I have been mostly lucky and have had a good run. These days I like to visit places as a tourist and travel en femme. Which is almost as much fun.
Almost, but not quite. I occasionally visit the excellent Touch which tests my powers of restraint.
As a final thought, I have been on Chix, in various guises, since the inception of the site. I have purged my profile often. To all I have met either here, or physically, my best wishes. Go gently.
I am 5'7". Size 18. Blue eyes. Size 7 shoes. Usually blonde. Quite obviously a bloke in a dress but I don’t care.
Amanda. X
Interests:
Other TGirls, I am Sub, Mature, Experienced, Attached, Art Exhibitions, Museums, Holidays / Travel, Historic Places / Architecture, Dresses, Social Meets Only!, I am Bottom
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