You have private notes attached to this profile:
(These are visible to you only)
Profile:
Transgender
Favorite Look:
Goth Chick
January 2024 - Here we go again
Back this time and taking it a lot more seriously this time. It really is my destiny, too many life and health issues have come up recently that made me re-evaluate my life choices and I need to do what makes me happy. Denying who I am is destroying my mental health. I'll still need to keep this hidden from some people, but baby I'm back!
October 21
As you can see from the long absence I have tried everything I can to push this under the surface, but I cant. Nothing can keep this hidden.
What I need is someone to push me to follow through, I need someone who will make me do this!
01 November 2014 - So thats one friend told and she took it so well! Absolutely nonplussed about it, no crazy reactions etc. Really excited about things after that reaction. Have to tell my manager at work on the 11th before I go back to work on the 1st, so pretty nervous about that though.
09 October 2014 - D-Day, told my GP today, Very supportive, and what a relief to get it off my chest :o
At the moment I believe I may be the single worst TV in existence, I am over 6 foot tall, I wear shoes so big that they could double as lifeboats in event of a flood and I look every inch the run of the mill bloke that you would see out and about. Except, deep down inside I know that life is a lie. I know that for as long as I have lived I have not felt comfortable in my own skin. I tried to block out the thoughts, saying to myself "don't be stupid, thats not normal" I even thought I could hyper masculine my way through it by going to the gym every day and hammering weights until I was fairly buff. But none of that ever made the feelings go away. It never made me stop looking at girls and instead of wanting to be with them, I wanted to BE them. I wanted to look the way they do, to feel the way they felt.
Of course, by trying to hyper masculine my way through my issues all I have done is created a scenario where it is impossible to talk to my friends, my girlfriend, or even my family about these feelings. They don't expect it from me and how could they because of the way I have portrayed myself my entire life.
So that brings me here, today. Since I am opening up I may as well get it all out, I have suffered from deep depression initially brought on my the suicide of my father, but this just compounded the feelings of helplessness that were already there. For my whole life I knew I was living a lie and this is what really brought it home. The most ironic thing is of course that I knew that my father shared the same secret as me. I saw his stash of clothing locked away in a cupboard one night when i was 17 and I was in the house myself. Its ironic that the only person I could ever open up to and who had no option but to understand killed himself.
Ok, Enough with the backstory. Who am I in the here and now. Well, you can call my Bellatryx, no its not a name I plan on keeping if I ever get to the stage of living my life this way, but it is one I adopted from my online gaming days, as you will see from my link which takes you to my YT gaming page. I am 28, but I'll be honest, I feel both old and young for my age. I can be immature and laugh at toilet humor, but on the other hand I feel old for my age, I take an active interest in politics and watch the news without fail!
Physically, I am about 6 foot, maybe 6 foot 1. I have brown hair that is growing in but seems to be taking forever and a day! I have blue green eyes and just the 1 chin! I am not exactly at peak physical fitness at the moment, as i write this I am taking about a 36" waste in jeans and a XXL in T shirts although I will admit to preferring them a bit on the big side. I do love working out though, so when my mental issues calm down a bit I will be back in the gym faster than a rat up a drainpipe and doing my best to get down to a much more reasonable jean and Tshirt size!
I work, although due to my mental health issues I have been signed off for a bit. I work for a Christian charity, so as you can guess that makes these kind of issues impossible to talk to anybody at work about, but I do love my job, and I believe that if there is a God he would love me for who I am and for being honest with myself instead of living a lie.
What do I do in my spare time. Well, I play online games, currently I'm playing Hearthstone, Final Fantasy XIV, Star Citizen and Elite:Dangerous. Drop me a PM if you play as well and fancy a game together sometime. Aside from that I watch TV shows, I build computers, I hand out with friends and like eating out.
Thats about all I know at the moment, I look forward to getting to know people on here and taking in as much good advice as I can get.
Interests:
Cross-dressing, Fetish clothing, Shopping, Stockings / Suspenders, Online chat, Office wear, Lingerie, Watching porn, Couples, Panties, Goth wear, Email chat, Wigs, Erotic nights in, Admirers / men, Other TGirls, I am Sub, In the Closet, Daytimes, Can Travel, BDSM / Bondage, Swim/Beach wear, Toys, Role Play, Inexperienced, Tights/Pantihose, Micro/Mini skirts, Nightclubs, I am a non-smoker, Females, Attached, Friendship, Photography, Museums, Movies / Cinema, Good Food / Wine, Comedy Clubs / Festivals, Politics, Sporting Events, Computer related help/advice, Mature Admirers / Men, Counselling / Life coach, I have Tattoos, I have Piercings, Dresses, Skirts, Leggings, Casual Tops, Smart Tops, Books & Literature
Not yet joined the growing tvChix community?
Sign up now, and chat to thousands of pretty transvestites,
crossdressers, and T-Girls in your area, for FREE!
Site design and feature presentation is Copyright tvChix 2004-2025. tvChix is a registered trademark in the United Kingdom, European Union and United States.
