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Profile:
Genderfluid
Favorite Look:
Glamourous / Pretty
** Thanks for all the birthday wishes ... π₯° **
Update October 2023:
Those I've chatted with over the last couple of months will know I was experiencing a very welcome return of my libido with a nigh on constant state of horniness. Sadly, and perhaps inevitably, this has now disappeared putting me back at square one with zero sexual urges or indeed any sense of my own sexuality.
Update August 2020:
So the testosterone jabs were stopped and I haven't had a T level blood test for months. Due to the COVID, my endocrinology outpatient appointment was cancelled and no new date set. I'm not that fussed as the regular tests that were done over twelve weeks before lock down suggested there was no real correlation between my T level and libido, so I'm back to square one in terms of identifying what's going on. Like a dementia sufferer who has brief moments of lucidness, I have brief moments when I feel randy. I've just got to learn to make the most of them ... π.
Update December 2019
The Tesla arrived and it's exceeding what were already very high expectations. Although it can go like stink, there's just something serene about noiselessly wafting along. That and its minimalist interior means I'm smitten ... πππ
Got the all clear to resume my testosterone replacement therapy and had my first (slow release) jab last week. We did a T level test at the same time and it was (unsurprisingly) low at 4.4 (normal range 10-30). Certainly can't say I've noticed any improvement in my libido yet. We're going to do blood tests every three weeks so watch this space.
Update May 2019:
I pranged my car on the 14th April with it finishing up on its roof and the fire brigade having to cut me out via the boot! I broke my pelvis in two places, broke three ribs and a collar bone and spent nearly three weeks in hospital. The pelvic pain is more manageable now but overdoing it still makes things uncomfortable. I went from crutches to a walking stick and am finally just on two feet. Bought a replacement car this week (a 1.0L hybrid hatchback π) and drove for the first time today (12/6). Thankfully no "Vietnam flashback" moments ... π.
Update April 2019:
So I unpacked all Gilly's stuff from the storage boxes I hid it in when my ex was living with me. Still can't find some stuff (all my babydolls for example) but I'm glad she's back. Have ordered some more clothes with plunging necklines to show off my new chestpiece in an F cup. However, Gilly is now competing for my affections with my Alfa Giulia Quadrifoglio that I picked up in November ... π
Update January 2019:
So things didn't work out with that relationship! I really think the single life suits me better as 30+ years on my own has made me too selfish to suddenly start sharing. I don't know yet if this means a return for Gilly or not. Watch this space ... π
Update October 2018:
Gilly is on hiatus. In a turn of events that even caught me off guard, I'm dating a (cis)woman and having a great time. I'm inclined to think I wouldn't be where I am now if it hadn't been for Gilly and what she did for my confidence. For as long as I'm happy with my current partner, I don't think there's any chance of Gilly making an appearance. Perhaps she was a phase I needed to go through. Honestly I don't know, but I'm happy and for now, that's all that matters. Of course I'll still check into Chix when I can ... π
Update July 2018:
I still struggle with the gulf between my expectations of physical meets and the reality. I should point out that the problem undoubtedly lies with me, whether it's "performance anxiety" or something else, but although I tell myself I should just stick to the fantasy, I'm irresistably drawn to meet as I find other girls such a big turn-on. For how much longer I can keep taking the punches, I don't know ... π.
I went to Leeds in April 2018. Thanks to the girls who looked after me, I had a great time on the Friday night but also on the Saturday morning when I went for a wander and then a drive. However, one of the things it demonstrated (apart from the fact I can no longer cope with deafening music in clubs!) is that I didn't do anything I couldn't have done in Glasgow at considerably less expense. As I don't want to be out with the neigbours in my block of flats (yet), I just need to find somewhere to change in Glasgow and I could then go out in town.
Leeds has also made me think about how Gilly can share her life with her male alter ego. If full time transitioning is off the table, how do I split her and his time in such a way that I won't go potty?
MAIN PROFILE:
61ΒΎ and single with a long time interest in all things transgender. Now retired and living on the south side of Glasgow. 5'9Β½", I lost nearly 20kgs in early 2019 but have put most of it back on, not helped by the lock down. I have what I can't avoid describing as ginger hair (although there's not much left!!). The upside of being a ginge, I've discovered, is that any beard growth is almost invisible!
For most of my adult life, I considered myself neither straight nor gay, and indeed thought I was asexual. In 2015, as an incidental consequence of some other blood tests, my testosterone was discovered to be only 3.1, well below the average for males and indeed lower than occurs naturally in some females. It had never been tested prior to 2015 so I will never know for how long it had been so low. It certainly explains my low to non-existent libido for most of my adult life!!
Due to the health risks associated with low testosterone, the specialist put me on hormone replacement therapy but over the first 18 months, two different treatment methods failed to significantly boost my levels and my libido remained non-existent. Finally, in 2017, a different treatment bumped me up to 16 and suddenly I had a libido. From monochrome to colour. Night and day. Unfortunately, it's subsequently dropped back below 10 and doesn't seem to want to go higher, even with increased doses. The libido has tailed off too ... πͺ
The urge to dress only came along a few years ago, during the time when I had no libido (the wilderness years!) but before the discovery of my low testosterone. Not knowing it was a libido problem, I had inevitably been questioning my sexuality and, to some extent, my gender. From my teenage years I'd been fascinated with trans people - I blame an Alan Whicker documentary about trans prostitutes in New York I saw aged 11 - but satisfying that curiosity in the pre-Internet age wasn't easy. Strangely enough, my dressing may also have been a result of the (so I thought) asexual me concluding that if I couldn't have a partner, I'd create my own. Can you believe it ... π. That and my (now Internet fuelled) passion for things trans got me where I am now. Dressing continues to feel "right" and although I don't do it full time, it's perhaps evidence of mild gender dysphoria.
I'm also convinced that Gilly is a nicer person that her male alter ego, and I'm sure this is one of the main appeals of "being Gilly". It's that sense of having another crack at life and making up for any of my real or perceived character flaws. That and just being femme ... π
I joined Chix back in 2011 as an admirer but didn't click. As I wasn't dressing then, I couldn't really relate to the people or the culture so slipped away after a few weeks. When I started dressing, I completely forgot about Chix, no doubt because of my iffy experience first time round, but rediscovered it in 2015 and it's been a huge help. Thanks Stella and all you Chix ... π. Anyway, with some libido at last, I'm finally reporting for duty ... π.
This profile has meant putting my thoughts on paper for the first time and I continue to refine them since first posting. I think that what I perhaps took to be an early interest in trans girls, and then an attraction to them, may have in fact been more of an identification with them all along. Who knows!!
However, I really want to meet and develop a relationship with one or more girls from the transgendered community who might be able to help me understand what the heck's going on and give me the courage and confidence to be more "out" with the real (or other) me. I'm not dressing full time yet and not sure if I will. I can foresee circumstances where I might want to, but that would be a huge step for me right now.
For me at least, dressing produces its own sexual frisson, and it would be lovely if I had a t-girlfriend with whom I could share those moments and have some sexy, no strings attached fun. Although I'm "versatile", I dream (rather more than I should) about impaling myself on an extremely long, hard and thick girlc**k. I live in hope ... πππ
Until then, let's see. Here's to the journey ... π
Gilly
PS I have a terrible wig habit; the collection exceeds 30 now ... π
Interests:
Sex, Online chat, Watching porn, Email chat, Wigs, Erotic nights in, Other TGirls, Full Makeup, I am Sub, I am Dom, In the Closet, Can Accommodate, Can Travel, No Male Admirers Please!, Toys, Mature, Inexperienced, I am a non-smoker, Furs, Relationship (casual), Single/Unattached, Friendship, Photography, Politics, TV/TG Activism & Awareness, Sporting Events, Computer related help/advice, Can Accommodate (Overnight)
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