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Hello Everyone Look who it is...its me again....im back!
Yes i know ...its the same routine ...over and over ....thats just how its is now.
Im obviously older now and no way near as good as i used to be both physically and mentaly. i alway told myself that once i got to a point where i was rubbish or unable to do what i wanted to do or i got ill or i was destroyed by my naieve stupidty i would leave and never come back....i tried but i just ended up going on other sites and doing the same thing there and probably creating a identity that took peoples attentions away from better more deserving people.
So to hell with it ..ill go back to where it all started ..i guess when we reach the end we end up[ right back where we began.
I know im running the risk of being a dissapointment in my old age and abandoning the many people i chatted too on here was aweful of me and im running the risk of my long term partner seeing me here again ( Hello darling do panic!.. im here for all the reasons you fear..but not out of malice or secret keepings ..because until things change i need an outlet for my own sanity...i will always love you even if my body desires fantasies from other sources ) ..
Im joking of course i no longer have the body to engage in those fantasies realy ha ha and i know your desire of me isnt what it was since i let you down ..i overestimated my own abilities ..i look good in photos and videos im aware but its all just shallow surface glamour....i know my better days are behind me andf im okay with that im not looking for anyone anymore ive done so much of that over the years and it didnt get me anywhere excvept a trail of dissapointed men who felt like i was offering something and then found i couldnt diliver.
This is so boring isnt it? ....apologoies for that its just how i talk now..
Anyway im back on and and i just like posting pictures when i can and doing what i can when i can ...its give sme a social life that i no longer have in real life ...i burnt the candle at both ends all the way through my youth and paid the price....i wont deny i had some great times and enjoyed pleasures that were good but dont worry i did pay for it in the end and boy did it explode in my face big time ...but i guess thats what makes it powerful ..risk is what makes things exciting but eventualy it catches you out if you dont have all the defences in place before hand.
Ive never had any defences in place ha ha it was just the protection of youth...thats gone now and that sucks no doubt about it but what can i do...it is what it is and it only gets worse from here.....FUN TIMES!
im sorry folks its all very depressing isnt it?....well not to worry i like depressing ...ill make up for it with pictures and lightsabers......im still fun and flirty when i can but it might be laced with dark sarcastic depressed undertones! ha ha
its great to be back ...who knows how long it will last before i emplode and run away and hide....
NEW UPDATE 29/7/24
HEY! i did it again...i ran and hid..wella ctually no ive just been spendinga lot of time on another site (im not sure if im allowed to say other websites names but im assuming im not) only because it has a live webcam option and i found i could both have a strange sort of social structure there and indulge my fantasies i guess...if Chix had a similar option id prbably use that instead as realy im the wriong sort of demographic for the other site but i sort of works and until there a more suitable option thats where i am currently which mean s im not updating chix as regually as i should ..i apologize for that ...just like in falcon and the winter soldier " i gotta do better senator"
i should update my pictures every month realy shouldnt i vbut i just get distracted by other the site alot and by other things ...ill try and be more regular even if nothings going on to post about .
I love you all!...right down to my satin bra.
Oh sorry i forgot my appearance details ........im so thick!
Age 42
height 5ft 7 inches
weight 9 stone
Eye colour blue
Hair colour brown ( i do wear wigs alot so it can vary)
Build slim to a little pot belly on bad days!...give me a few days to to eat right and drink alcohol to shrink my gut!
UPDATE..im trying to stop drinking..its slow going i have times when i can stop for a good number of days or even a couple of weeks but if i get stressed or i need a pick me.im just going to say that im tringa nd i think i have got it down to what normal social drinkers might consider acceptable levels.and i leave it at that ..they ssay if you can stop doing something for 8 days then youve broke the cycle so im trying that ..sometimes its working and sometimes i relaspe but i ll juts see how it going for the rest of this year..alot of my families birthdays are towards the end of the year wich means traveling and social gatherings.
ive recently been to a megacon ..i havnt been to sincwe 2015 i think so that was good..very hot ..and treaveling in taxi to it was a real challenge but i did have sort of help ..would i have done it on my own ...um probably not but as i ended up on my own for most of the two days i actually enjoyed it as i could move at my own pace and i wa just cramping other peoples style i think ..so being by myself is the best way forward for things like that.
i find social situations very hard now ..weatherd thats because im not well physicaly or mentaly i dont realy know..medical people tell me there nothing wrong with me..pycholgy peiople say theres nothing wrong with me ..yet both parties thing i have underlying opposite conditions .(yes work that one out). but i have coping stratergies im just very slow now i find deal with people in the real world difficult sometimes but i always try to be friendly and accomadating but sometimes i dont see things clearly or things at all until hits me in the face. but hey lifes about experiences isnt it?
Anyway thats all ive got for today.(where have a stole that from?) i watch alot of youtube now ..insane sanity needs sane insanity to go alone with on the journey dont they?
P.s i like milk ...and dancing slowly.
Interests:
Cross-dressing, Stockings / Suspenders, Sex, Online chat, Office wear, Lingerie, Watching porn, Groups, Couples, Panties, Petticoats / slips, Hair accessories, Email chat, Wigs, Erotic nights in, Admirers / men, Other TGirls, High Heels, Daytimes, Can Accommodate, Toys, Webcams / C2C, Tights/Pantihose, Satin/Silk, Relationship (casual), Females, Attached, Friendship, Movies / Cinema, Mature Admirers / Men, Cosplay / Costumes, Skirts, Smart Tops, Can Accommodate (Overnight), Vintage, I am Bottom, I am Switch
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