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Post-op Transsexual
Favorite Look:
General / Everyday wear
Update April 2016
Wow, don't really pop in that often any more, but thought I best update my profile. So what has happened...? well I had my surgery in October 2014 in Brighton ( a few complications and a few hard months after, recovering). The reality is surgery is quite major in my case it took 12 months to be healed and back to full power.. I am by my own admission a bit full on at times.
I went back to work in February 2015, into the same crap and a boss who would not communicate or talk to me, so I quit my job in a PLC (8 years was good run) after being passed over for the Directors role a second time. I finally took the hint I had hit my ceiling in the company.
What do I do..? (I think of my self as a "Renascence Woman") I joined a small structural engineering practice in Bath, and have now become a equal shareholder and Director in the business after doubling the turnover in the business over 9 months. This job was slightly different as the working hours are 25 hours a week... so what do you do with the other 15-20 hours in a week..? Well you set up your own business and become a consultant.
I also am a part-time tutor at UWE in the architectural department, which I really enjoy. I did this in 2015 and have been invited back this year again.. I love the dynamics of teaching.
I am also on a counselling and Psychology course in Bath (most Saturdays), its just the foundation course and I am loving this and hope to continue onto counselling in September this year and will be a trainee for the next 2-3 years. Its not about money its about helping others.
I am a volunteer for a gender charity once a month and do a bit of community radio as well...with Shout Out Radio.
AS for my Ex she got married last year, its had its ups and downs, I still have my kids on a 9 nights out of 14 over a two week rolling programme... and love them deeply.. and they accept me for me..
I have no problems with neighbours, clients or even builders.. life is good. Transitioning was the right thing for me, I found myself and have come to love who I am...
Tara x
Update July 2014
I have not updated my profile in a while, I guess it's because my life is out in the world now.. More Facebook (addict), work and living life.
I am heading towards the final stage of transition with some 14 weeks to go, and have gone from being terrified at the prospect to actually knowing I have got a good surgeon and support team at Brighton Nuffields when the time comes. (I know there is more to come after surgery I have seen others fall appart after surgery) as with anything and everything life each stage brings it's own challenges. Still going to a Councellor to talk and chat...
It's weird how after being so insular for the past 5 years, before starting my journey just over two years ago since my black hole moment.. I am back doing the things I enjoy, when I can... A bit of rock climbing (bouldering as I can do that any time) and am also back having a go at ju-jitsu after 11/12 year break, at the grand old age of 42..
I have not left the community, it's just I don't spend 24/7 in it now... I recently did a local radio show at shoutout (lgbt show) as I try and help set up a trans youth group in Bristol with a few others covering ftm, mtf and gender queer (drumming up awareness)... Targeting September for a first meeting..hopefully.
I also recently did a presentation to the local police force as well about trans spectrum, and how they need to think about it as a spectrum, how it's something we are.. I also introduced them to home office guidance about bullying in schools etc. I came away feeling very positive about my local force... They really want to help, but I suspect the uniform sometimes gets in the way and they pick up the pieces when things go wrong. I have since been asked to go to local schools to talk. Thinking about it....
I guess I realise that we need to be doing is being out doing anything and everything anyone else does, so society realises we are part of the diverse population in the uk, and don't hide, we don't have two heads etc...I am lucky my kids force me to just be and get out...no time to hide.
Tara x
Update 22nd Nov 2013
Thought I better add a quick update, well I know... Life is really good, I know I have arrived when I find I no longer can buy a hard hat without men looking at me strangely, not allowed to have any knowledge of the combustion engine and I can't tell contractors how to do things...without hurting ego.. Yet next time my idea is mentioned by a man it used... Even with this I am no going back anywhere being one of them.
My life makes sense to me now and I can just get on and be, I like who I see in the mirror. And if you need to follow this path, do it your own way, work out what works for you... And good luck,and no matter how many time you hear it will be fine you will not believe it till you get to the otherside... Be realistic and give people space and time... But more than anything else be honest and true to you, people understand that....
Tara x
Update 20th July 2013
I feel so fortunate to have been able to face up to my issues and come out the other side as a stronger person and whole person. There are so many people out there hurting, unable to be who that are and afraid of living.. and not just Trans people... it affects lot and lots of people as no one is normal thank god.. we all have issues... its what makes us human and interesting... Perhaps society changes but just not quick enough.
Met a lovely girl last night 18, with her whole life in front of her.. only problem holding her back she is a Lesbian and too scared to admit it...we chatted and cried a little.. Why can our education system step up and allow people to understand accept themselves instead of leaving them feeling lost and outside of society...
All the best everyone... Tara x
Update:19th May 2013
Finally, I have made it to being full-time.. just living life, working, playing shopping and most importantly I continue to be there for my kids. Legally changed my name, still finding things that need changed. What I have noticed, work has not significantly changed and well my work involves going to construction sites everyone has been nice so far...
Anyway, RLE has commenced and at the moment its about me just being me... maybe even finding out more about me as one person...
Update:9th Feb 2013
Wow, time is flying at the moment as I deal with sorting out my new life and move towards being a full time woman. Dealing with Neighbours, Kids School, Kids clubs, my Dog Club and friends all of which to date have been lovely. honestly I did not realise just how nice people can be.... and I have been humbled by the response for everyone to date.
I will be retaining Tara as my first name, my last name will be Fraser and middle name is under negotiation with my mum at the moment (Catherine is my favorite at the moment).
So well as for relationships, I am not going to get involved with anyone in a relationship no matter how bad it is and how little they understand you.... I am not going to deal with it... and to be honest I am single girl about town and with my kids have not that much free time. But who knows.
I go out anywhere and everywhere so if you cant cope with daylight or normal places... keep hiding..
Tara x
Update/Review 31st December 2012
Well 2012, has been a roller coaster of a ride going from a real low in my life as my world seemed to implode in on me... funny thing we never see it until it happens. Its 6 months since the crash and oh what a 6 months it has been, I have seen more Dr's in the past 6 months than I have seen in the 6 years.
I am happy in myself and know who I am (I smile too much apparently), that really was the hardest step... acceptance of ones self after trying to hide and blend into what society expects of my for some 30+ years.
As for 2013, well its not been written yet, and I know I am going to have highs and lows, but with the friends and people I have met I am sure I can deal with most things over the coming year.
Wish you all the best for 2013, and follow your dreams.
Tara x
Update: 8th December 2012
Had so much meeting with counselling in Bristol, its been so helpful to plan my way forward and sort out issues in my head... anyway we are currently trying to work through a plan of action for dealing with my work and more importantly my Kids and school.
Had my second meeting in London with Dr Perring and had to run from the tube station to the office after train being delayed. anyway after talking etc we have agreed a programme for Estrogen and Anti T drugs and was sent off to talk to my own family Dr... Meetings wit Dr Perring i have found to be helpful challenging and above all informative, of course he deal with this day in day out, I only plan to pass thro the once....
It made me laugh, my GP struggled to read the other Dr's writing... anyway after a bit of a talk I have been given prescription and have started on anti T drugs.. lets see what happens next..as I deal with work and schools..
Wish you all well for the up coming Xmas break..
Tara x
Update: 31st October 2012
After all the talking and discussions with Councillor and friends it turns out my mum does not care if I am a man or woman as long as I am happy in my life and she will support me no matter what...she is an angel.
Update: 6th October 2012
Every day I am feeling more in tune with myself as I progress from my old life to a new life, it may be slow but its good to be dealing with being Transsexual. I have to remember that its not about being transsexual but rather just being me for the first time..
Tara x
Update: 30th Sept 2012
Have now found a counselor in Bristol, I will be working with over the coming months to deal with all the issues I have been bottling up over most of my life.. I need to dump my baggage to move forward and its scary to admit things that one has hid deep inside.
Otherwise, I am single and not looking for anything other than friendship as I travel my new life. I have discovered that my friends I have talked to and explained I am transsexual have been very good. People are so much more accepting that I ever thought possible.... I know not everyone will be but one can remain positive.
Tara x
Update: 11th Sept 2012
It's been an emotional roller coaster over the past 9+ weeks, my life had changed beyond all recognition, I am a single transsexual for a better word. I have been in London today (11th) to see the gender disphoria specialist, cried a lot and even managed to talk and chat by the end of it. It's very odd to get confirmation of what you have felt for most of ones life. So I have to start planning for a new future...and work out where and what happens...
Tara x
Update: 14th Aug 2012
Its over a month now since my breakup with my GF, life is getter better each day. The fact is life is brighter and better...I have been given an opportunity to be myself and I am not going to squander it going forward.
Waiting till the 1st Sept when my ex leave and moves into her own house, i expect that I will be out and about a lot more and will not be heading back to any wardrobe unless its for a change of clothes or shoes...
Tara x
Update: 17th July 2012
My world has been turned upsides down this week, my long term GF (9+ years) is leaving me for an other woman, after I fond out they have been seeing each other for 2 months, following circumstances forcing them together.... at the moment I feel really num and just trying to work through all the issues with a broken relationship.... My transgendered issues have not helped apparently I have been told to "find out what can make me happy".
Anyone gone through similar circumstances..? I do not hate her but find myself still deeply in love, but with a broken/heavy heart and tear filled eyes.... I know time is a great healer. In reality there is nothing I can say or do that is going to change this new path in life...
I guess this gives me the space to sort out my transgendered issues and find my own path in life without hurting or damaging anyone.....
I am trying to make sure the split is as amicable as possible, and trying to work out how to pick apart five lives and to minimise impact to the kids.
Just have to keep a balance between: Work, Home, Family...and me...
Main Text:
Hi, T-girl living and playing in Bristol (6'2" with no heels on....heaven forbid), brown eyes with own long hair (no wigs...)). Dress size 14/16 typically, but depends on the shop.
Like lots of girls spent my early years dressing, with a large dressing up box with ball gowns running around the hose and garden. started buying shes and clothes at 13, with tips to local town and frequent purchases of tights and stocking is really bad colours....
Stepped part way out at 14 in Aberdeen, just for a few hours and scared my self half to death. Did not venture out again till 21 when I used to go to Beaumont Meetings in Aberdeen and then in Glasgow (first experience of TF's did not know such people existed (was looking for T-girl)....very scary for a night out in Glasgow Gay Scene walking back to my car).
Work and life got in the way for a few years while in Edinburgh.
I then started going out and about in 1998, starting in Inverness, where I me a wonderful person who taught me to love my alternative side, and let Tara out. Moved to Cardiff where I have a wild time with nights out in Cardiff and Bristol, both the T-scene and the kinky clubs...(such nice and accepting people in the kinky clubs).
In fact is was so good I moved to Bristol to ensure I had a T-scene to go out and about in, once out never back in again.. nights out...rather than nights in..!! Enjoy Fetish and Gay Clubs for the social mix and variety of people.
I have travel to London, however it makes for a long night out...and to be honest not so much into T-clubs prefer the mix of gay clubs.
I simply love being a woman..when I dress..live life to the full and enjoy it..!!!! Love shopping for clothes and shoes (20+ pairs and counting (ex GF complained about my collection))....
Tara
xxx
Interests:
Cross-dressing, Shopping, Boots, Stockings / Suspenders, Online chat, Office wear, Lingerie, Dressed nights out, Hair accessories, Email chat, Leather Skirt/Dress, Other TGirls, Full Makeup, Convincing, High Heels, Weekends, Trendy/Modern club wear, Experienced, Tights/Pantihose, Corsets, Pubs, Nightclubs, I am a non-smoker, Females, Attached, Friendship, Sporting Events, DIY Help / Advice, I have Piercings, Dresses, Skirts, Casual Tops, Smart Tops
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