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Transgender
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Well this is me - Sofia a 6ft slim girl, with green eyes, long lashes medium bobbed hair which is my own. My personality is somewhat cheeky. A caring and warm girl who tries to bring the best out of life. Most certainly up for a laugh who is also honest and very genuine too.
Most importantly looking for friendship or finding that true romance of a long term relationship.
My Journey
A simple story which I guess it's similar to most peeps on here. Confused at the age of 6, noticing that something was not quite right. Feeling extremely feminine in my inner self and noticing very significant feminine features too. A person who was always very in touch with my feminine side. Remained to do so as years went on.
I never understood a general boys life, purpose and entertainment of all aspects. Remaining strong enough to excel life and take every inch of enjoyment from this life given to me.
Finding out that the way of living as a boy was so difficult, I realised that a girls way of living just seemed to be the right fit for me.
Happy, content and standing firm. Although a deeply confused person inside, tearing myself apart to cope with either. Distractions of getting married and settling down in an number of relationships to break down the confusion. Being strong enough to be able to live happily with the person I loved but most importantly being that true person to her or try at least for her sake. Alas all relationships bought the opposite.
From the age of 6 to about when I was 30 the battle, confusion and letting my mind flow in all sorts of directions was being in constant torture. The hurt, the dis-belief of my life could never been any lower.
Depression, stress, trying to accept for who I am and keeping at least my head above water to act nothing seemed to be wrong. Fake happiness I guess.
I realised it was time to accept that I was born in the wrong body and had to drastically do something about it.
Became full time June 2014, It was a case of having too really. I couldn't live as that person no longer. The day I went to see my GP in August for a referral, the relieve of knowing a new journey begins was like the best day of my life. With my first appointment letter at the laurels coming through in October for an appointment in November.
I moved in December to Teignmouth when I was so lucky to have one of the best Doctors appear in my life.
The darkness of my life was so deep and very much approaching the end of it, Just couldn't tolerate life before Sofia. Emotionally and tormented my appointment ended walking out being prescribed to HRT.
The door of this journey is very much wide open now. Dreaming visions of future life events as Sofia will come across so far has happened. Following my heart and instinct and making the right footsteps at the right time all was a must for me and truly believing in myself that a life change would endear the best out of me.
Dec 2014/Dec 2015
A year of courage, believe and extreme confidence was the key for me and overall most months were just that. The other months were complete the opposite. However with just having my mum only really supporting me through this, I proudly can say that doing transition on my own so far has certainly been a great achievement. Although the clinic and GP has been heavily supportive and helpful. Moved from Teignmouth in March to Ashburton to where I had an amazing summer. Everything fell in to place nicely.. A perfect job which was the best I ever had, great work colleagues to whom made socialised with outside work. The best people I could imagine. Sadly being seasonal job ended end of September, but who knows I may be back there March 2016. lets hope so. Ashburton was a perfect place to live. A quaint and quite town to which was very accepting.
A determined Sofia always had this dream of wanting to break into the model industry as a new career change. Though the summer I had a couple of photo shoots to build a suitable and growing portfolio with planning another in new year. However my chefs career is still firmly in place and to which I am very passionate about having achieved 14 years now.
Autumn fell and not so good, depression, too much thinking which is lethal. Continuous days of positive one day negative the next. No job, but just a cleaning job and claiming JSA, Life was grim
Moved again to Ivybridge and everything is now slowly getting back to normal for me. A job and living in a perfect friendly house share. Bring on new year.
I have learnt and remembered but not had much of this in my year but whenever I hear negativity toward trans women from real gendered women...it's usually this attitude of "You will never be *me*" or "You will never be a *real* woman." And I couldn't agree more, honestly. I will never be *her*, I will never be her definition of *real*. But you know what else? She will never be *ME*. She will never learn from my struggles, or experience the deep satisfaction of becoming myself after years of so much self hatred and dissatisfaction with life. And truthfully, with that attitude, she will never be as beautiful and real as me.
I have never called myself a real gendered woman, because I am a trans woman, and my identity will never be hers.
Holding head up high, and stronger then ever had been. It all gets easier.
Medication is perfect, blood results are well within range A year on HRT complete..
2016 goals
- First of all new year starts with a model assessment with MJMM on 7th to which am very determined to break through in to the industry.
- To try and remain positive, strong and believe in myself.
-Passed model assessment. Now model for MJMM.
Feb 2016
I like to thank all those who wrote on my guestbook with wonderful and kind comments. It means so much to hear these. so appreciated thank you xx
March 2016
16th march - Like to thank those of you who wished me happy birthday. Really sweet of you. I had a lovely day. Nice lunch out. Was fab xxx
Summer 2016
We are now in August and I am 19 months into HRT.
A summer of ups and downs and it still continues. but determined to dismiss the bad and stay strong to achieve the best in me.
I am remaining positive on my modelling and now come to a time where I have have hanged up my chef jacket completely and bringing myself to front of house or receptionist. To shine a personality that was always hiding away in a kitchen. Bring out a Sofia that everyone sees outside work. But putting my new career to one side my recent job at Shaldon- Teignmouth I loved. Lots of baking as well to cooking dishes. Most days thou just baking scones and lots of yummy cakes.
My addiction of blow dry's at my hair salon I go too is growing. I guess a luxury and a confidence thing. Or more likely a treat that makes me feel fab. Been a party girl too. I knew that would happen when I moved to Torquay.
2017
Now living in Stroud. Yes - Gloucestershire, and i have finally got here and loving it. To what I have experienced this year and late last year it has been one amazing turn around for me. A new life, a strong positive and determined lady who has achieved the most remarkable things.. Just wow. Always smiling now.
Firstly my job - head chef in a country pub in the heart of the Cotswolds. My passion, my creativity, my career in fact has always been a focus in my life and to not let it fade away. I live to be a chef and moving from Devon has given me this new light to do so well. I have very supportive owners who both been right behind me and have helped me find the Sofia we new. They recognised my potential, my talent and saw that I was very career focused.
I am 2 years 5 months on HRT and very much near the end of my journey and now near to surgery. Looking back end of summer and I'm dead excited.
I am still overwhelmed over the guest comments I have been receiving. Thank you all for your kind words.
Interests:
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