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T-Girl
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Hi everyone!
I've completed that journey and came out the other side in good condition and happiness! I'm thoroughly enjoying the freedom of being a strong, independent, honourable woman!
I'm 5'6 slim/toned build, deep-plum long hair, tanned but not orange! LOVE getting my hair, waxing and nails done and the endless hours of online shopping for that perfect outfit!
I'm professional in my career and ambition but more so I am a home-bird, love home furnishings and decoration, cooking, baking, cleaning (yes even cleaning) and spending time with my dog.
I also run a Beauty Parlour in Belfast for the trans* community.
Updates;-
January 2017
Wrote to the CEO of the Housing Executive here in the North (Mr Clarke Bailie) highlighting the current housing crisis for victims of domestic violence/abuse. In an indepth letter I argued the case that High Risk victims (MARAC) should be given Intimidation status to greatly improve their chances of relocation hereby amending the Rule 23 clause to include MAAC cases.
December 2016
Absolutely delighted to announce that immediate Protection Orders for victims of domestic violence/abuse are now in place in the North of Ireland for early intervention to protect victims from immediate harm. Also, I did cry, I learned from our Justice Minister that a Domestic Abuse Bill has been formulated and achieved Executive approval which is set to be introduced to the NI Assembly in February 2017.
November 2016
Following a meeting I had earlier in the year, I received a letter from the Minister of Finance Mairtin O' Muilleoir MLA (Sinn Fein) to inform me that he has instructed his department to start work on an official review of the Gender Recognition 2005 here in the North. He was particularly struck by the simple self-declaration model that was introduced in the South of Ireland in 2015.
October 2016
I gave a 2 hour presentation to the management board of Women's Aid Federation NI on the current issues facing the LGBT community here in the North, in particular trans* women and how they should be integrated into the services provided by WAFNI. I also briefed them on how to embrace trans* women in times of domestic violence/abuse.
September 2016
Women's Aid Federation NI announced me as their first Ambassador for the charity. I gave several interviews to the media with one concurrent theme - more help, support and awareness for rural victims of domestic violence/abuse.
Met with MLA's from a range of parties up at Stormont to discuss domestic violence, domestic abuse and coercive control. I gave presentations and made speeches and together with the Sinn Fein Assembly team we brought forward a Motion on these issues.
July 2016
I met with the newly appointed Justice Minister Claire Sugden MLA to discuss domestic violence, domestic abuse and coercive control. We discussed the current escalating situation here in the North of Ireland and in particular my campaign around Donna's Law. Donna's Law is a campaign in honour of my late friend Donna, that consists of 4 main areas;-
1) to make Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse & moreover Coercive Control a criminal in the North.
2) to develop an Offenders Register to safeguard victims.
3) to launch Domestic Violence Protection Orders for early intervention by PSNI.
4) to introduce Domestic Violence MARAC cases within the NIHE criteria for Intimidation.
If you are affected by anything in this post, or have been in the past, you can call the N. Ireland 24 Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline on 0808 802 1414 in confidence. You are NOT alone
June 2016
Within the past few months I've been working closely with Women's Aid NI and The Rainbow Project NI to try and tackle our highest ever rate of Domestic Violence and Domestic Abuse. I had the privilege of meeting the leading global expert and giving a speech to 100 invited guests from around NI, including him. I'm also in talks with most of the political parties here in NI to give a speech and presentation on Domestic Abuse/Coercive Control. My motivation is to make these people understand the issues better in order to strategise and reach victims in rural areas who have limited help, support and awareness.
March 2016
It is with deep regret and sadness that I had to withdraw from the World Finals of the Face of The Globe Competition due to ongoing domestic violence and abuse. However, I was invited to give a speech at Stormont here in N. Ireland to mark International Women's Day 2016. I thought I would share this with you in an effort to bring some awareness about these issues (which are still not criminal here in N. Ireland) but more so to reach those of you who are going through it; or indeed knows someone who is. I wrote this from the heart with the most sincerity and genuine intent. If any of you are suffering right now please, please do get in touch. I will do all I can to help. X
Good evening Ladies and gentlemen.
Next month I should be on an international stage in Paris, competing against women from across the world for the Face Of The Globe crown. Except I am not. This is my first and probably only public appearance wearing my Sash as Ms Ireland and this is the reason why.
In the words of Lady Gaga;-
“Till it happens to you, you don't know how it feels.
Till it happens to you, you won't know, it won't be real.
No, it won't be real, you won't know how it feels”
In September 2013 I lost one of my closest friends so sudden. Donna was 49 and found dead one evening in her apartment. It was no secret she was in and out of a domestic violent relationship with her boyfriend for 16 years. I had personally witnessed the impact of this anger on her face, on her heart and on her very soul. Her death was unexplained and as such remains that. I thought it was black and white, I told her to leave him many times and because she kept taking him back I distanced myself from her and the situation. I didn’t want to know anymore and I didn’t want to listen. I just didn’t ‘get it’.
The month before her death I began dating a man. He was my first since my transition and I fell in love at first sight. He was gorgeous, strong, kind, loving, considerate, all those things a girl wants in a man and more. I fell in love, he was my Prince Charming and my hopes began building for my Happy Ever After. He was really there for me when Donna died, held me in his arms while I cried sore for my dear friend; who really would have deserved her, Happy Ever After. A better friend I couldn’t have met. She was simply the best.
The following month my dreams were crushed when my Prince beat me repeatedly, in my bedroom, then out on the street in front of terrified neighbours. He broke bail to find me, told me it was the drink and steroids which seemed a valid reason so I forgave him and took him back. Why? Because I didn’t want to give up on my Happy Ever After and I believed my Prince when he said he was sorry.
But from that moment on I lost control but more importantly I lost myself. Two years I fought hard for my Happy Ever After while he continued to chip away at me physically, mentally and emotionally. I thought I was being punished for not being there for Donna until finally one day, I ‘got it’. I finally ‘got it’.
Before Christmas I separated from my ex and walked away from my dream of a Happy Ever After. I began working with Women’s Aid and started to see things a lot more clearly. Just a couple of weeks ago I got assaulted again when my ex turned up suddenly at my home but this time was different. I saw him for the monster that he is and I have Women’s Aid to thank for that. We now have a stronger Non-mol in place and serious charges are being investigated but I still live with that fear and those horrible memories.
I was able to come out of that relationship, accept vital help from Women’s Aid and stand in front of you good people here tonight and speak. Many women can’t. Many women are too frightened, too vulnerable, too damaged or just too confused because they feel they don’t have a choice. Many women just don’t ‘get it’ yet, just like I’m sure many of you here tonight who have not been through it.
We owe it to the women children and men in the North of Ireland to learn to ‘get it’ before they have to live in fear and have those horrible memories; something which is already happening at an alarming and increasing rate. I have a handout for you on the statistics to prove this.
We owe it to the women, children and men in the North of Ireland to strategically tackle this issue NOW and tonight I am reaching out to you all to offer my time and support and I will try help you to ‘get it’. I also demand, not request, the Justice Minister and the Health Minister to immediately sign off on the Domestic Violence Strategy that was promised back in September 2015 before more women, children and men have to suffer.
I would like to see MARAC do more in terms of strategic alliances, networking, communication, housing, social needs, etc. Meeting the women, men and children survivors might just help them to ‘get it’ too.
We owe it to the women, children and men in the North of Ireland. to hurry up and 'get it' to help improve their chances of a Happy Ever After. It’s too late for my friend Donna but it’s not too late for them.
Thank you for your time and enjoy the rest of your evening.
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