How to Date a Transsexual

Those who are attracted to transsexuals because of their transition status are called "admirers" or "chasers." Admirer is the term that's usually used more positively, with connotations of someone having a great deal of respect and interest in transsexuals. Chaser, on the other hand, is usually used as a negative description. A chaser is seen as someone who fetishizes transsexuals and wants them for the transition status rather than who they are as people.

Because of negative experiences with chasers, many transsexuals will be wary about someone with a specific attraction to transsexuals.
While from the outside transsexuality may look exciting and erotic, for many transsexuals it's a source of pain and frustration and not something they would ever want to be reminded about during romantic moments. If you are an admirer, it's important that you only pursue transsexuals who have made it clear that they would welcome your advances.

Personal ads may make mention of interest in admirers, or some clubs may have admirer nights or advertise that they are welcome. A transsexual who has shown no interest in admirers and does not know that you are specifically attracted to transsexuals may feel betrayed, lied to, or manipulated later on.

On the other hand, if you've found someone whom you enjoy as a person who just happens to be a transsexual and so your attraction is not based on their transitional status, you don't have to be so cautious. There are no false pretenses in this situation and unless you make a huge blunder, you're unlikely to leave your partner feeling like a fetish object instead of a human being.

Beyond these issues, dating a transsexual is not much different from dating anyone else. Dating activities that you might engage in with a non-trans woman are the same ones you'd share with a trans woman. A trans woman is as likely to be a movie lover, an outdoors-woman, a gourmand, or a bookworm as any other woman you might know. Treat her as an interesting individual with her own tastes and preferences, as you would any woman. The same holds true with trans men, as well as those with non-binary identities.

Where differences might--but not necessarily--occur are things that could be influenced by her situation. Of course, any person's background will influence them. Transsexuals often suffer from gender dysphoria, which can cause extreme distress over any reminders of their physical markers of sex that are at odds with their gender identity. Finding how your partner is comfortable with being touched and what language for body parts your language prefers are important parts of the relationship that you should establish before having sexual contact with one another, in order to avoid emotionally hurting your partner. Even transsexuals who enjoy the attention of admirers may not enjoy being reminded of certain things during intimate moments. Establish what's comfortable for the both of you first.

Ultimately, good communication, honesty and remembering to treat your partner like an individual and not as a representative of transsexuals will lead to better dating outcomes.

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